We are absolutely mirrors for each other. It takes real slowing down and real wisdom to be able to see that.
Triggers and shadows are stealthy. They hide out so we can’t see that the person pressing our buttons isn’t the issue.
We are unable to see that their behavior is triggering a core wound. If we can remember this fact the moment the trigger happens, we can use it as an opportunity to witness our emotional response and shortcomings. Then we can grow from experience, and use it as fuel to liberate bound energy and stuck emotions. Unless we operate with a knowing that EVERY reaction (positive AND negative) is a reflection of a part of us, we are missing out on a valuable opportunity.
We all know someone who has a running dialogue on a particular matter where they feel victimized. Maybe it’s you. Maybe it’s your partner or a friend. They use stories of “bad othering” to explain how they’ve been wronged and how righteous they feel from their perspective. They simply cannot see they are the common denominator in every version of their stories. It’s so obvious to the witness, but the victim might be outraged to hear that they are the problem.
I was triggered by someone recently who incessantly complains about how they’re treated by certain people, and it drives me crazy that they can’t see themselves. Then I realized, “wait a minute, I’m triggered by their inability to see themself in the situation!”
I laughed out loud when I realized I couldn’t see MY self being triggered by THEIR victim story. I turned myself into the victim because when THEY complain, I didn’t like it.
Humans are hilarious. We criticize each other for being critical, we judge others for judging, and we get triggered by people’s triggers. And around and around we go, like a giant merry-go-round in life.
When we can pause and realize that every situation is a reflection of our inner emotional landscape, what we can’t be with will be reflected. The good news it’s the same with the things we admire in someone. Those extraordinary qualities that we admire are reflections of ourselves, too.
Next time you are engaging with someone and you notice positive OR negative emotions, remember the reflection.
